President Obama’s new job plan

This news report from the Government News Service has been found:

Washington DC (GNS) —

Tomorrow President Obama will finally make public his new job plan. President Obama will announce the formation of the Department of Jobs. The new DoJo (to distinguish it from the Department of Justice) will absorb the old Departments of Labor, HEW, Energy, EPA and Treasury.

By taking on the duties of the absorbed departments, DoJo will be responsible for seeing that every citizen contributes his fair share to the country. For each individual this contribution will be optimally allocated between financial contribution and labor. As part of this plan, every citizen will be provided with a job when they reach their 18^th birthday. In order to maximize the utilization of resources this job will be allocated by the Department of Jobs to whatever sector and whatever state DoJo determines to be in greatest needs. Waivers will be granted to the families of elected officials and any non-elected officials above GS-13.

By folding the functions of the old Environmental Protection Agency, DoJo gains the enforcement capability they need. Since CO₂ has already been determined to be a pollutant, if a citizen is determined to be unable to contribute their fair share, their license to produce CO₂ will be revoked.

Initial funding for the Department has been set at $1.3 trillion. The President warned, however, that this was merely an initial estimate and that it might have to be increased. His candor received enthusiastic applause from the Press Corps.

On the podium with President Obama while he announced the plan were Republican Senator John McCain and Representative John Boehner. Reports that Mr. Boehner was bound and gagged were dismissed by the White House.

This entry was posted on 18. August 2011 at 17:42 and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.